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You may think you’ve met the man of your dreams, but you should always go into any new relationship with your eyes open. The truth of the matter is, he might not be quite as smitten as you are. Here are the top 10 signs that should ring alarm bells…
1. Up in the air
Do you part company without arranging your next meet-up? If so, then it looks like he wants to keep things casual. He maybe reluctant to make firm plans with you in case a better social option comes up. That’s fine if you feel the same, but if you’re looking for commitment, you probably won’t find it with him.
2. One-way traffic
Channels of communication should be two-way. If you’re the one doing all the calling and texting, it’s not just because men are uncommunicative. It means something is genuinely amiss. The right man should want to get in touch. If this isn’t the case, it’s time to consider going ‘ex’-directory.
3. A spare part
There’s nothing worse than feeling unwanted. When he answers the phone, does he make you feel you’re interrupting something more important? Does he even complain of being smothered or that things are moving too fast? If so, you’re not on the same page. Do yourself a favour, finish this chapter and start a new book.
4. Attention deficit disorder
If your man’s eyes are always darting over your shoulder, whether it’s at the couple arguing behind you or the football on the big screen, then be warned. This isn’t because you’re not interesting, but because he’s too dumb to see it.
5. No nice gestures
A person’s body language can give you a clue to their state of mind. Does he walk beside you with hands thrust deep in pockets? Does he lean away from you when you sit opposite each other? Does he even cross his arms when he looks at you? This reveals two things. Firstly, he’s not that that keen. Secondly, he’s a massive idiot.
6. Wham bam thank you ma’am
A man who is unsure will be reluctant to entangle his life with yours. He might still, however, want to sleep with you. Be on the look-out for attempts to reconcile these conflicting impulses. After getting his wicked way he may find some shoddy reason not to stay over. Alternatively, he may always want you to come to his place in order to minimise disruption to his lifestyle.
7. No family ties
Another sign he’s not into you is hesitancy when it comes to meeting your friends and family. If he’s looking for the exit, he won’t want to become enmeshed in your social circle. Avoiding coming out to see your friends or finding excuses when your mum’s visiting are the actions of someone who needs kicking to the curb.
8. A sense of foreboding
This may sound obvious, but if you’re not happy then something’s wrong. A certain amount of insecurity is inevitable, especially in the early stages of a relationship, but if you’re permanently braced for a bombshell it doesn’t look good. Think about how he makes you feel.
9. Drunk and disorderly
Only seeing you when he’s drunk is textbook wrong ‘un behaviour. If a high proportion of your liaisons are late-night meet-ups then chances are he’s not a keeper. It suggests he only wants something casual and is unwilling to admit you into his sober, serious, day-time life. Unless you feel the same, tell him to jog on.
10. In two minds
This is a huge cliche, but that’s because it’s true: when it’s right, it’s easy. Conversely, if you’re being messed around by someone chopping and changing, it’s all wrong. Another cliché is this: when you know, you know. And that should go for him too.
